How long after arriving at someone’s house is it appropriate to ask for the WiFi password?
(via pizza)@2 days ago with 385796 notes
you can’t be a bisexual if you’ve never dated a girl. all bisexuals must submit proof of dating history before becoming fully licensed and must be registered to continue practicing bisexuality. please renew your licence every 5 years to avoid reclassification as hetero- or homosexual and to remain eligible for our annual picnic and raffle.
(via ajailnun)@4 days ago with 108900 notes
@1 week ago with 538745 notes
liking someone’s selfie takes two seconds and it boosts their self esteem by 203948204
if you dont eat the pizza crust you are weak and natural selection is coming for you
(via jolyene)@1 day ago with 738933 notes
I want 0 responsibilities and a lot of lingerie
(via ajailnun)@3 days ago with 347335 notes